Dependance

I heard the line from a song tonight: “I could have used your voice today”.
I could have used you today. I think about your hands on my shoulders when I feel tense. I think about your voice when I’m stressed. I long for your embrace when I’m tired, lonely, happy, angry, and depressed. I depend on you for my happiness. Even though I usually can’t hear your voice when I need to, don’t get to relax when I’m wound up, and don’t get your comfort for many weeks at a time, just the thought that you can fix all my problems fixes most of them when you’re not here.
I am not ashamed or feel weak because I depend on you. I feel strong that I have a person behind me holding me up. I know, without a doubt, that I can make myself happy. I do. But you are my ground, my wall, my mountain, my every cliché.

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Just a few thoughts. Feeling sentimental. And apparently a little deffiant...Happy though. Very happy.

Yes and No

Yes and No

To people from my past and present, friends and lovers.

Yes,
I still think about you
I still think of “what if’s”
I miss things about you

No,
I don’t think I should forget you
I don’t regret a single moment with you
I wouldn’t change the way things happened

Yes, I am happy.
No, I do not want it back.
Yes, I still love you.
No, I am not ashamed.

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Nothing special I know. But it's heartfelt, and something on my mind. I don't like that it seems to be expected that when a relationship ends, one seems to be expected to be bitter, or at least want to forget the whole experience like that. No one I have loved ever leaves my heart. I refuse to be ashamed of that. And just as much as I don't regret my past, I don't regret that these relationships have ended. People grow and change, and honestly some don't.