Tuesday, July 3, 2007

History Repeats

Well, I guess my week's theme has been people from my past.
First off, my Uncle Stuart, his wife, and my cousin came to visit Sunday night. One might think "Oh, a nice, average family visit." Au contrair my darlings. We have never had very good relations with my Mother's Brother's family. Mostly becuase of his very upper class Columbian wife, Maria Theresa Rodriguez etc. etc. etc. It seems that ever since they married, when my mother was still only 17 or 18, there has been a good bit of tension between Maria and Mom. Not that unexpected with such two strong personalities. But somehow, I've never been quite sure exactly how, egos got bruised and it's been a strained relationship ever since. We have not been allowed to call there house and had to call Stuart at his office. My own uncle! The only times we ever see them are for family occasions, namely weddings and funerals. The last I saw their two children, my cousins, was at my step-Grandmother's funeral, when I was around 10. The cousins didn't come to Grandpa's funeral. Apparently they don't do funerals. Lately, however, there seems to be the air of wanting to patch things up. Last fall, Stuart called us and talked to Mom for a long time. When she hung up she said that he had just come out of rehab for alcoholism. He had called to apologize for the tension and minimal communication over the years. Then at Liz's wedding Stuart and Maria were fairly congenial and said that when they picked up Anne, their daughter, from Yale they may stop through. Which is what they did this Sunday. And it went well, partially thanks to the cats. Appparently they're cat lovers, and Punch milked the attention for all it was worth. My cousin is now 33 and I hadn't seen her for 13 years. But it went really well. The conversation was fun and friendly, and then they went on their way. So yay for family ties that can always be mended....if very slowly.

My other historical relationship resurfacing happened just a little while ago. About an hour really. And it's all in my head. I saw a picture of Ian, my ex-boyfriend of three years back in highschool. I was taken by suprise by my reaction, which was one of familiar chills. Until recently we had been talking regulary as friends still. I thought that we'd continue that way. I still really care for him. But, he seemed to have dropped off the map. A few months ago I just stopped hearing from him. He hasn't been online or really responded to my text messages. His brother told me a little about how he was doing (not great) but that's not the same. I'm now stuck between wanting to contact him and not wanting too. I'm trying to figure out my motives. Do I want to talk to him just because I'm curious and still care about what happens to him? That seems most likely. I didn't really like how much seeing that picture affected me. Boo for habitual reactions. It made me feel all nostalgic and guilty at the same time. Guilty because I do love Chase and felt bad for even thinking about Ian again. I guess it happens. And it's only really been a year since we broke up for good. I don't know. We'll see if I decide to make contact again.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh, dearest.

Personally, I've never stopped loving anyone. It just fades over time. But when they need you, it comes rushing back, just as powerful.

Maybe that's it. He's in trouble and that love wants to make it better. I think that is the hardest part of loving those that hurt themselves... It's so hard to let them go because you are terrified of what they will do without you.

But that's just my thought.

I also think you and Chase have a phenomenal relationship that can easily stand the stresses of time and distance.

Mrow?

Anonymous said...

I agree with Nassypants.

I had a dream about Curtis just last night. While I still love him and always will, he doesn't necessarily have a grip on me anymore. I'm not going to drop everything for him like I would have in the past.

Same thing goes for the Popsicle. I care about them immensely, want to see them and know how they're doing and it hurts to hear about them hurting but I still like Chinzi. Who is the more immediate. I don't know. Does that help?